Pregnant with Cancer

The World Just Lost a Great Man

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Mon, 28 Dec 2009 07:53:00 +0000

My dad passed away tonight. He lost his battle with pancreatic cancer at 10:23 p.m. on December 27, 2009. The obituary will say 11:30 because that is how Hospice logged it....but I held his hand as he took his last breath.

I got to his house at about 11:30 this morning. He moan and sort of yelled out at around 5 or 6 p.m. and did not breathe for a few seconds. This happened again a few minutes later. I knew it was going to be soon. Still, the whole thing has been surreal. It happened so fast. Even 2 weeks ago I still had hope he would make it, somehow. We had the surgery all lined up then they dealt us the horrible blow that he had pancreatic cancer. We brought him home, where he wanted to be.

I knelt by his bed, cried and held his hand as he left this world. The world has lost a great man, but heaven has gained a great soul. I love you dad. I miss you.

It's Getting Close, Prayers

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Sun, 27 Dec 2009 16:00:00 +0000

The hospice nurse told use yesterday my dad has maybe 72 hours at most. I was with him until about 2 a.m. and decided to come get some rest. I am heading back now in a few moments. We doubt he'll last much longer. I can't help but hate that the holidays have been so bad for us. I remember how much my dad loved this time of year. My birthday is in 2 days as well. I lost one of my best friends 17 years ago on the 28th. All of these things are making this time of year harder and harder. I love the holidays too. I have to learn to separate the bad from the good. It's difficult.

Anyway, we need prayers. It gets scary sometimes listening to him breathe. I left when it sounded better. There is also a TON of snow on the ground. We got a big snow storm yesterday and it's going again now. I hope the roads aren't bad. I only have about 10 miles, but the drifting out there can get bad. I need some inner strength to get through this whole thing as well. I believe as it draws closer and closer to the very end, it will be really hard to hold it together at all.

Snowball Fight!

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 19:43:00 +0000

Made this for my girls. They really got a kick out of it.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Sad Thoughts Today

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Thu, 24 Dec 2009 00:57:00 +0000

More On My Father, Pancreatic Cancer

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 16:11:00 +0000

It has been confirmed. It is pancreatic cancer and it has metastasized all over his body. In other words, it's too late. Right now we are working on bringing home. That's where he wants to be. We will need Hospice to come in and nurses to help but somehow we'll make this work. I want my dad in his own home.

It's been a discouraging year and an even worse Christmas season for me. How can one feel any Christmas spirit when the whole month is about whether or not my dad will live or die? It's hard. I can't focus on Christmas. I have had so much to worry about.

Today I will meet my sister at the hospital to discuss the next move.

My dad is just 57 years old. Don't forget to hug your daddy this Christmas.

My Dad Has Cancer

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 22:59:00 +0000

I am exhausted. It's been a long day. They canceled my dad's surgery. They had done a biopsy prior to the surgery and saw that there was absolutely a malignancy and it had spread. At this point we don't know what kind. We don't know by the sample where it started, just that it is cancer. Of course the belief is that it is pancreatic. I have been at the hospital all day. He is weak and can hardly speak. He sleeps most of the time. This has been a very hard and difficult time for my whole family. My mother is barely keeping it together. I will write more later. It's time to rest for now.

Oh and because it spread the surgery was basically pointless. It couldn't save him anymore. So it's been a discouraging day, to say the least.

A Success!

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 04:59:00 +0000

The benefit for my dad went really well. We had a lot of people come eat and a lot of people that bought raffle tickets and baked goods. It warmed my heart to see how much everyone cares. I appreciate all the help that we received at the benefit from my aunts Celeste, Mary and Meg. You are all awesome and we love you. Uncle David, Joe and Kevin, we appreciate all you did. I couldn't be happier with how things turned out.

The scary news is that my dad is having a major surgery on Monday. Without this procedure he will definitely die. He is not really strong enough to have this surgery, but it's his only hope. It is called the Whipple Procedure. You can google it and get a whole lot of info. Be careful though, some images aren't for the squeamish. I saw at least one image of the actual surgery.

We need prayers. I am not sure dad will make it through this surgery. The doctors have said he might not. We can only pray that this surgery is the solution and hopefully we'll finally know what it is that is making him so sick. We know for a fact now there is a mass on his pancreas. We just do not know for sure what it is.

Thanks for all the love, support and prayers, donations and just everything....thank you.

Gabbi and Her Toddler Bed

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:40:00 +0000

If you remember, a couple of months back Gabbi started jumping out of her crib. She was not yet two, though close to it and we had no choice but to buy her a toddler bed. That bed was mostly a waste until now. She would not sleep in her room at all. She cried, screamed, hyperventilated, etc. So she inevitably ended up in my bed. My poor hubby was kicked to the couch for quite awhile.

Nights happen to be the favorite time of day for my hubby and myself. We are so used to going to bed at the same time and using that time at the end of the day when the kids are all in bed for each other. We look forward to that. Gabbi took it. She would even come into the bedroom with me and when daddy started to walk in to kiss us goodnight or whatever she would close the door on him and say "Bye daddy!"

So it was time to change things. I love my girly. I love having her as my little cuddle bug. However I wanted my hubby time back too. So I decided to start small. Nap time. That's where we would start. I put her in her little toddler bed and yes she cried. I rubbed her head and sang her some lullabies then told her firmly to stay. I told her I would be back and repeated the word nap. (Which she has learned at daycare) Surprisingly she fell asleep within 10 minutes. Now, 3 days later she is napping in her bed and sleeping in her own room. We temporarily have put a cot in there for her big sister Lexi. This helps tremendously. She isn't so scared and Lexi likes doing it anyway. She even has crawled into bed with Lexi a couple of times. I don't mind so much. I just want Gabbi used to her room, used to her bed and eventually going to sleep with no trouble. We are well on our way.

Now about that potty training thing......to be continued.

Reminder if you want to donate to my dad's benefit costs (which is too much for my sisters and myself at this time of year) please click the paypal button here:

or if you are a facebook friend who cannot see the button just click here: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=10552638

Benefit Costs

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:10:00 +0000

This Saturday is the Benefit for my dad. We still do not have all the supplies needed. We are not sure how big or small the turnout will be. What I do know is we do not yet have everything needed. We desperately need a few items and time is running short. If you would like to donate even a couple of dollars toward the cost of the benefit ONLY please click the paypal button below:

This will help reduce the cost of the benefit itself for my sisters and myself. Right now especially with Christmas money is very tight. My dad needs this benefit though. He will most likely need constant medical care for the rest of his life at this point. I think we are all coming to terms with this. He has copays and deductibles and a lot of other regular bills that my mom is now having to deal with paying. He cannot help anymore. So we want to just let them worry about ONE thing and that is getting dad better. I'll make sure to get a lot of pictures from the benefit and post them. I am pretty excited. If you want to donate TO my dad directly please send your donation to The John Hamilton Benefit Fund at the State Bank of Speer in Speer, Illinois. E-mail me directly for a specific address.

Finals Week!

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 00:41:00 +0000

It is a crazy week for me. It's finals this week. I have a Statistics final, Criminology, Philosophy, English/Composition II final, and I already finished my Psychology final. Wednesday I have two of them, Thursday is my final one and guess what? I am DONE with this semester and DONE with every single prerequisite.

I really have come a long way. It seems I have been at the prerequisites for a long time. I started back at college in the fall of 2005. I went all the way until the end of my spring 2007 semester. I was sick and that's when I got diagnosed. I did not go back and finish up until this Fall. I did not think I would get accepted into the nursing college I applied to on my first try. I had heard about being on a waiting list for long periods of time. I was shocked when I got my acceptance letter. I knew there was a ton to do. When I went to set up my classes, I took summer classes and fall classes to get it all done. The counselor at the college did not think I could handle the work load. Guess what? It was hard but I've done it.

Even with my dad being sick and all that's gone I have managed. I got a B in my Psychology class but you know, I'll take it. It's not the A I wanted but with all that has gone on I don't think it's too bad. I had to miss a few classes to be at the hospital with dad. Not to mention a few test dates I missed and had to make up. It threw me way off. I know my dad would not want me to fail out of college because he got sick. I think my dad was always proud of me for going back to school and working hard to becoming a nurse. He has always been proud of my sister who is also a nurse.

I am excited. I have much to do though! I am very anxious about it all. I am ready for this week to end and finals to be over. I get ONE MONTH off!!! My birthday is coming up too. I have one of those Christmas birthdays. December 29th to be exact. I am ready for a relaxing holiday with my family.

Dad Update

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 06:49:00 +0000

I spent some time with my dad tonight. He's pretty sick obviously. Tonight he wasn't feeling well at all. His stomach has been really hurting him. He's been pretty confused. He was leaning really hard to the right today for some reason so we became concerned. He seems better now though. I spent some time talking to him and though he is very quiet he is making sense to me. He thinks the staples in his head from his surgery though is an injury from the civil war. He does not think it all the time. He only does this when he gets really confused.

I talked to him and he was even joking around with me. He would honestly pretend to die. Ok I know this sounds sick but you have to know my dad. He thinks it's hilarious. He'll make himself twitch a little, shake, and then stick his tongue out....totally acting like a goof ball. I love it though. He's being his goofy old self. He put his hand on my face and held it there. He did it to my sister Donna too. He was being so loving. I'll be back to see him tomorrow. He's back at the hospital right now for those who want to know. He went back tonight.

The benefit is still on for Saturday the 19th. So to those readers who live around here and can make it, we would love to see you there!

Christmas is in the Air

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:12:00 +0000

It's Christmas time. Have you noticed? It's hard to miss right? *chuckle* I finally got some Christmas shopping done. I am not done shopping yet but it sure has taken a load off my mind. It's really stressful. The Holidays for us have been tight. Our bills at this point pretty much match what is coming in. We set up auto pay on our bills so by the time we see any money it's practically gone already. The holidays only make you realize just how broke you really are.

However I love Christmas. I love the friends, family, fun, food, lights, music and more! There is nothing like turning the lights off in my living room and turning the Christmas tree lights on. I'll lay on the couch and cuddle up with the hubby and watch a movie like It's a Wonderful Life. I live for those moments.

I really want to feel the Christmas spirit this year. Yes I really do, as corny as it may sound. I want to feel that joy I felt as a child. I remember the innocence and the simple pleasure in the idea of gifts and family get togethers. The whole time was magical. I want to give it to my kids. I think of Frosty the Snowman and the old Rudolf the Rednose Reindeer specials. I smell the pine trees and see the big, fluffy flakes of snow. Yeah I do love this time of year.

I am worried about my dad and it puts a damper on everything. I saw him today. He is very confused. He said he was being treated like a refugee in the civil war. I am not even positive what he meant. He constantly wondered what was going on and where he was. I miss my dad. I love him a lot and want him back with us. We told him Christmas was coming and he said "when?" We told him and he seemed surprised. I then asked him what he would like for Christmas. He seemed confused and looked at me and I said what present does he want. He looked at me again and said "To come home."

I hope his Christmas wish can come true. At least for one day.

For Those That Want To

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Thu, 10 Dec 2009 15:51:00 +0000

I have had a few people come to me and ask where they can donate. I do have a paypal account but I have decided I don't want to take any donations there. I want to keep any funds for my dads medical expenses separate. My husband went out to the bank here and opened a benefit fund for my dad. The flyer here posts all the details for anyone interested. My dad has a lot of medical expenses due to his mysterious illness. We have gotten no answers. It could a.) be a serious infectious disease or b.) It could be cancer.

The problem is he is NOT strong enough for any kind of surgery at this point to examine the spots they have seen on his liver. The spots are not growing or spreading in any way. At this point he needs to get stronger. So there isn't really an end in sight. The benefit is the 19th. Many things are needed such as take home containers, 2 liter bottles and cans of soda, any other beverage.

I am posting this flyer with the information on it to make a donation if you wish. I am holding the benefit to help my dad and mom not have to worry about anything but my dad getting better. I don't think my mom should carry the weight of worrying about bills medical or otherwise. My dad is retired and there isn't a lot of money coming in right now.

I really hope this benefit has a good turnout!

My Dad's Benefit

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 18:20:00 +0000

I am hosting a benefit for my father coming up on December 19th. This is the flyer I have been posting. I created it with Microsoft Word then wanted to get it online so I converted it to a PDF file and uploaded it to the Adobe Acrobat site. It comes in better there, but takes a while to load. Unfortunately I have not been able to upload the new updated flyer there. The site isn't working properly. So I found this other site and uploaded it there. I am really anxious about this benefit. I want there to be a good turnout. My dad means so much to me. I know he would hate to be the center of attention. However we cannot sit idly by while he gets sicker and sicker and his medical bills get higher and higher. My dad has always run the home so this situation leaves my mother very confused about what to do or even how to do it. My sisters and I are hoping to take that burden off her shoulders during this very hard time. Please for John! We still do not know what is wrong with him.

Just Thinking

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 18:51:00 +0000

It's hard to believe it's almost Christmas. Time sure flies. I know you hear the saying so many times and the older you get the more you say it! It really is true though. My Gabbi is now 2 and my birthday is this month! I will be.....um.....30 something on December 29th. haha Ok fine. 34. I cannot believe I am almost 34. Honestly I don't feel that old. Even with all I have gone through. Actually I feel pretty good. When I was sick and didn't know it I felt awful. It's funny how you remember things later and you realize the cancer explains everything. I am not positive how far back the first symptoms go, but it was at the very least 2004.

I remember standing in the magazine isle at the store. I could not stand there for more than 30 seconds to browse magazines. My body would start to hurt. My whole body. I would start to ache from head to foot. I can't even really explain it. I thought "Man am I getting old or something?" I was around 28-29 at the time. Still I had no other explanation for feeling the instant need to sit down. I thought to myself if I didn't, I would fall down. So, instead of browsing through magazines, or looking through books I would quickly get out of the store. Those feelings are long gone. Now? I could browse for hours. I have no pain. I used to wake up in the morning feeling like my bones were healing from a break or something. It's so hard to explain but it didn't feel like a fresh injury, but rather the type of pain you feel when an injury is healing. It gets sore and tender. My whole body would hurt. I hated waking up in the morning. I knew I'd have a headache. I knew lifting my head off the pillow would feel like a bowling ball. I knew that my eyelids would most likely be swollen. All of these symptoms? Gone.

They can make a list of symptoms for Hodgkin Lymphoma but I can tell you now I didn't have half of them. I never had one single night sweat which is a common symptom. I never felt or saw a swollen lump sticking out of my neck (lymph node) which is also common. I only had difficulty breathing, increasing shortness of breath, wheezing, a little more phlegm than usual, usually rattling in my chest. As it progressed I became more pale (which is bad for me, an already pale woman). It was when a little blood came up when I coughed that I knew without a doubt it was really really bad. I couldn't blame it on allergies or maybe developing asthma any longer. I still stayed in denial regardless. It's funny how we worry about the slightest symptom on our loved ones but when it comes to ourselves we just deny deny deny!

Anyway, I am thankful to be free of those symptoms. There are more. At the time I had no reason to blame my symptoms on cancer. I just didn't know. The things developed over time so I just got used to it. Now I feel so free.

I am looking forward to being 2 years in remission in February. It's like another birthday. It's the day I got my life back. It's when I knew I could look to the future again. I knew I could dream, hope....and live again.

My Gabbi, Homework and Dad

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 04:09:00 +0000

I am going to be hosting a benefit for my dad along with my sisters this month. Things are so out of control with his medical bills. Not to mention he is a retired man. We'd like to help with his costs and take the burden off of my mother. Dad was always the one who ran the show so having all of this responsibility all of the sudden is really difficult for her.

This benefit will be on the 19th of this month. We are having a spaghetti supper and plan on doing a bake sale as well. I am hoping for a good turnout. My sisters and I also discussed a benefit account which hopefully we'll have going by tomorrow. There is so much to work out and deal with but we are working hard to get it all done.

On a good note, I got to talk to my dad today! I called his room at his new hospital and for the first time in a week he is not very confused. He isn't 100% yet by any means but he is so much better. I mean, he was very out of it before so this was such a wonderful gift. He'll never know the worry or fear in our hearts but we love this man so much. I am just not ready for him to go or to even change. I am a selfish girl because all I can think of is wanting him back entirely. I want that fishing, hunting, goofy man back. We of course still have the issue of knowing what is causing everything. We hope to get some answers soon.

I am supposed to be working on my Statistics homework right now. That's the homework bit of this blog post. I am procrastinating! Now as for Gabbi she is a very amusing girl. She recently grabbed a clean diaper, stuck it on her head and said clearly "Mom, look, poop hat."

So like any good mom, I snapped a pic!

Haha Off to do my homework now.

Homework Sunday

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 18:55:00 +0000

I have a ton of Homework I must finish today. I'll get it done if it's the last thing I do. I had an ok weekend. It was stressful but ok. My mom stayed here with us. I enjoyed having her and it makes me feel that much closer to my dad.

My mom left last night and stayed with my sister because they drove to see dad at the new hospital. Dad is still confused but a little better. They did a lumbar valve on him to drain the fluid out. He had the meningitis before and that created pockets near his spine and brain that filled back up again with fluid. That is what causes the confusion. They knew as soon as we sent him to this hospital that the fluid needed to be drained. They acted immediately and we have been in constant touch with doctors and nurses there. Dad is talking but still confused. However when asked where he was he knew. So I believe it's just a matter of time before he comes back to us.

Of course the most important thing is to find the underlying cause of the whole thing. This has been the hardest part of the whole deal. I am not convinced the doctors at the local hospitals knew. I think they thought cancer was the only possible answer and this is just not true. Medically speaking it could be a multitude of things. Dad has so many symptoms it would be easy to throw out a diagnosis. We need definitive answers.

So, my questions is this. How in the world do I focus on my homework? *SIGH*

More On My Dad

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:44:00 +0000

I know I talk about him a lot lately. He has been the top thing on my mind though. There isn't a second of my life I don't have a knot in the pit of my stomach, so worried about him. I miss my dad. I miss him so much. I want that guy back. I want him to go hunting. I want him to go fishing. I want him to tease my girls and encourage Gabbi to sing the Spongebob tune.

I am saddened. Some of my family doesn't understand my blog. I want to stress to those who read my blog through Facebook that the place my blog originates is NOT through Facebook. It is through a blogging website and it is automatically posted to Facebook. I started my blog before my own diagnosis when my doctors thought I had cancer. It was a place for me to pour my heart out. By definition blogs are online diaries. My own doctor suggested it. Go to http://www.pregnantcancer.blogspot.com and read. I feel a lot of people don't understand. I did express my anger on this blog and I do not apologize. I am not a temperamental person. My fuse is long. I don't get mad easily and I am non confrontational. I am just saying right now it's gone. My fuse has burned out. The only thing that matters now is my dad.

No one cares for my dad like his children. We are stressed and tired. We wonder why nothing has been found. We cannot understand how he can be so sick and they can continue to send him home to get worse. We are trying so hard to make things better and we are just so unsure of how to do it. Hopefully the new hospital will help. Now I just await word from my mom. Hopefully we'll have answers soon.

Depressed

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:32:00 +0000

My dad has been taken back to the hospital. He hasn't been doing well and we knew it. His weight has been dropping rapidly. He's a shell of the man he used to be. We were hoping for answers. We still haven't gotten them. We keep being told they are almost sure it's pancreatic cancer. My issue with this is that if it WAS pancreatic cancer he could not possibly be so sick without them being able to see it. That type of cancer usually is not even noticed until it's later stages. The symptoms don't show up until it's fairly progressed. So, with how sick my dad has been, how could it be possible that they could not find it?

I have been working out the details to have a benefit for my dad to send him to Mayo. I have the place and date lined up finally but with the Holiday was going to wait until Monday to make copies of the flyers I made and then hopefully get some donation tubs etc. We are doing a spaghetti supper and were going to sell advance tickets and tickets at the door. We have ideas for a bake sale too. My sisters and I have worked nonstop racking our brains while also caring for our families. My sister is trying to work and balance all of this and her children. I am trying to balance it while caring for 4 children, my home and school work. My classes are really getting crazy now that it's only a few weeks from the end of this semester. I have tests and TONS of papers to write. My stress level is at the top right now.

Dad wanted us to all come to his house for Thanksgiving. He was as excited as I have seen him in a long time about it. We had planned what we were bringing and we were all so ready to go. Then this morning I got the call. Dad is confused again. It's like it was before. They think the blood infection could be back. Now I sit here, waiting for news from the E.R. I know my mom is there upset. The trouble being I am here with my four girls and my hubby is at work. My hubby can't just leave because HIS boss is out this week which leaves my hubby in charge of everything. So I wait. I can't really do anything at this point anyway. He isn't in a room yet and we aren't sure if he'll even be staying there. My sister has been feverishly working to get him transferred to a different hospital because frankly this one is not able to help him anymore. They can't give us the answers we need so it's time for something different. We have to also figure out where my mom will stay, how she will afford it, etc. She needs meals too. My dad is retired and they don't have a lot of money.

Then to top it all off the family is back at us again telling us we aren't doing enough. We should be there with mom. I love my family but I just don't think they understand what we are doing. They hear my mom crying and I get that. She is stressed. We are too. I want to just throw everything out the window and go be with my dad. But at the end of the day I still have to pass my classes and my kids still need their mommy here to care for them. I will go be with my dad every second I can, but at this very second I sit here agonizing over what is going on just like everyone else.

I wanted to be with my family this year. I knew it could be our last because who knows how healthy dad would even be next year? If it IS pancreatic cancer, or if it's not, we don't know how he'll be doing so this year meant everything and now it's gone. I have no food. We thought we were going to mom and dad's so I have bought no turkey or anything. I will have to try to see my dad, be with my mom tonight and somehow manage to whip up some sort of Thanksgiving dinner for my own family. I want my children to still enjoy their holiday.

Right now? I am just not feeling it.

Had My Follow Up

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 12:37:00 +0000

I had my follow up on Friday but haven't had enough time to sit here and type out how it went. The drive was long as usual. I enjoy it every single time. I got there and got in and had my blood drawn immediately. My veins were uncooperative unfortunately so she tried one arm, wiggled the needle around (causing excruciating pain) and finally she gave up and moved to the other arm. It was more cooperative though it still hurt. I have to say it depends on the nurse and the day of the week. Sometimes it's nothing. Other days it hurts a lot.

I got weighed and put in a room to wait for my doctor. He came in and asked several of the usual questions. He feels my lymph nodes. My blood tests came back good. A few more questions were asked but all looked well. I did get in trouble for not having gone to see a thyroid specialist yet. I do have those issues which we believe causes the continued pressure in my throat. So he set that up for me too. I'll be going back to see him and the endocrinologist (thyroid doc) in February.

I gave the doc and the office a pic of Gabbi. They really enjoyed that. As I left I saw the head nursing staring at the pic saying to my doc how unbelievable it was. Yes indeed it is. My Gabbi is pretty amazing.

Stupid Fruit Flies

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:39:00 +0000

OK. Have any of you ever had an issue with fruit flies? It usually happens to us once a year. They are hard to get rid of. I like bananas and they really attract them. I thought they were the culprit again but no. I had a bag of potatoes in my cabinet that was stuck behind a bag of apples. I forgot about the potatoes because I didn't ever see them. Yeah you guessed it. One potato went bad and that was it. The fruit flies made themselves home.

Luckily I discovered the potatoes last night and threw them out. I scrubbed and cleaned every single crumb in my kitchen and found a little trap online for these monsters. I didn't know if it would work but it seemed worth a try.

You take a 2 liter bottle of soda and clean it out. Cut it from the top of the label off. Put some orange juice or wine or other desirable liquid and put it in the bottle. We used wine. Take the top and invert it into the bottle. Take some duct tape or masking tape around the bottle to seal it. For some reason the fruit flies can't get out. They go in after the liquid and become trapped inside. We tried it out and look what we found this morning.

I could go buy bug spray sure.....but it was late at night and this was more fun. lol

Unmask Parasites. Do you know the dark side of your site?

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:24:00 +0000

Unmask Parasites. Do you know the dark side of your site?

My page got flagged by someone's antivirus because I hosted the ad or link of a bad blog on my site. Through careful searching I found that this certain blog was on Entrecard and BlogCatalog. They install bad things on your computer!!! So I searched for ways to find spyware or malware on my blog and found some great tools. This is one of them. I wanted to share it here so you can all test your own blogs for bad things that could keep you from showing up in searches and stuff. I myself didn't realize if I posted someone's link or blog and IT hosted bad things that I could get flagged as well. Now I have run every scan known to man and I have searched my Google Analytics and everything else and it says my page is clean! So hopefully it's no longer an issue. I can't tell you the name of the bad blog here because it would probably flag me again. Even though my own site is NOT installing anything bad, that site is and even mentioning it's name on your site is bad. However if you want to know, send me an e-mail and I'll tell you what it is.

Gabbi's Birthday Pictures

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:49:00 +0000

I have uploaded some pictures to my village photos account. If you are interested in seeing some, please follow the link!

Gabbi's Birthday Party!!

Dairy Free Frosting For My Birthday Girl!

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:53:00 +0000

I have been searching like mad for a good recipe or store bought frosting with no milk. I thought I found one and maybe I did, but the problem is it has caramel color. I have done some research and discovered it CAN contain milk. Maybe, maybe not. Now I cannot possibly go on that. How can I just give her that not knowing if it is made with milk or not? I can't. So I had to begin my search all over again and I found this. How simple! I am trying it tonight.

White Icing

Ingredients

4 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup shortening
2 tablespoons water
1 teaspoon clear imitation vanilla extract

Directions

In a large bowl, combine sugar, shortening, water and vanilla. Beat on low speed to combine, then beat on medium speed for a full five minutes. It won't look like Icing at first, but keep the mixer going for a full five minutes, and then you're done!
Note: If you're not using this for decorating, but just for icing the cake, thin the icing by adding 3 tbs. of corn syrup, or water to the icing.

Happy Birthday to My Gabbi!

sandilynn1975@gmail.com (Sandi) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:03:00 +0000

Tomorrow is Gabbi's second birthday. So much time has gone by. It's hard to believe. She's such a big girl. I have another 3 month follow up on Friday as well. She is and has always been a symbol of me getting better and also her age shows how long I have been in remission. February will be 2 years. She is 2 years old tomorrow. It's amazing! I love you Gabbi! Happy Birthday!